Well...

Wanted to say sorry for not posting recently. It is crazy how life can just suddenly become a busy, busy activity. With moving, nice weather, bicycles to ride, beer to drink and other things that are fun...I have not been on a computer for more than half an hour since spring started looking good.

So, I am going to start posting again next week. However, since life is still going to be busy I am going to not do daily posts, I do have a life outside of blogging (thank god!). I will be doing a post every other day, but not including weekends.

So ta ta!

Guest Writer on the Assets of Asses

Hi All,
Sorry for being so slow at posting, moving is a bitch, and not a fun one. So to make it up, I am going to start having a weekly guest writer, my friend, Talking Dirty in Chicago. So here is Talking Dirty...

This is in response to an earlier post that our lovely lady of pillow talk posted, 03/20/09. The subject was tits vs. ass.

While I never view them as in competition, I certainly have my preference. While many women go to extremes to

achieve the perfect set of breasts, it is this writers opinion that they should spend that time and money in a gym perhaps.

At least through pain and exercise they are more likely to achieve a natural, firm, curvy, oh my god, fabulous ass. Today's society is is too much into skinny

buttless, models and actresses. It also seems many women view their ass as a problem. We often hear things like, does this dress make me look fat?

I just can't find jeans that make my ass look good. It's too big! I hate my hips, look at this point in my jeans, I can't wear these!

Really ladies, stop it. I'm sure there's lots of guys who are breast men. I've heard about the confidence boost one can get from certain bras.

I appreciate a teardrop breast myself, but it all pales in comparison to a great ass. I wish a had a dollar for every time I heard a woman say, whenever

I go to a club, creepy guys try to brush against my ass. Hmm.. wonder why? I too think those guys are creepy by the way. I also believe many do it

subconsciously. Their eyes meet this beautiful, curvaceous bottom and like gravity they are pulled in it's direction. Even guys who claim to be breast men

are hypnotized by a great ass.

Some of the greatest sexual moments in my life have come from the liberating of a fine ass, from a pair of tight jeans.

Talk about foreplay. All a woman needs to do in most cases is, pose in some provocative fashion, and most men (and many women) are rendered

speechless. It's no wonder that prices of designer jeans have escalated to point where many folks just can't afford them. Still others will spend themselves

flat broke for the perfect fitting jeans.

Picture these:

Who of us doesn't find find these to be the delectable of treats. They actually look edible, hell...they are.

And best of all jeans are removable,

Pictures please:

If I'm not mistaken, that was about 6000 words. I can't wait until the weather in Chicago is consistently warm. Fine asses get me so excited.

If you are not one of who appreciates this wonder of mankind. Please let me know who you are. We can get help for you. You need it.





Note from Pillow Talk: I personally feel that this image should have been included, which I should Talking Dirty, so it is going to be the closing ass).

Suck My Strap On

For those out there who don't know what a strap on is, it is a dildo that can be slipped into a harness that is than worn generally by a woman Two words: Fake Cock. 

So that's out of the way.

Now, some people might be thinking, "Suck my strap on? What's the point?" Strap on blow jobs can be very pleasurable for both people involved. For some trans men who have not transitioned (a woman who identifies as male, but hasn't gone through with the sex change surgery) their partner sucking on their "cock" is pleasurable because they want a blowjob and that is the way they can receive one. This moves into the idea of fantasy. For those trans men who want a a cock, but don't have one, it is the fantasy that they have a cock currently to be sucked on that gets them off. They are fullfilling their sexual identity by having their "cock" sucked. 

( I want a note that I used the word "some" often, because I don't want to presume that ALL trans men like to have blowjobs or like to wear strap ons for that matter)

For a woman who is wearing a strap on perhaps it is her fantasy to experience what it is like to receive a blowjob. I am not mentioning who might be giving the blowjob, because maybe a woman really wants her man to get down on his knees and suck her "cock. (You can't always assume that it is only a "lesbian" who wears a strap on).

So how do you give a blowjob on a strap on that satisfies fantasy and the physical at once? 

According to babeland.com those involved in interacting with the strap on should get to know it first. Give that strap on "cock" a good feel over! Work with the "cock" like it is real and can feel sensation. If you are treating it like it is just a toy, the fantasy will be ruined. It is not fake, it is a cock that wants to be sucked. 

So keep up the desire and fantasy show. To get the physical sensation going for the wearer, push the base of the cock up against/into the wearer's vagina. Move it so it rubs up against that senstive area while sucking on it. 

So there ya go, a simple description on how to give a blowjob to someone who is wearing a strap on, the rest is up to you! Now go have some safe fun!

*Picture from http://www.frocks.nu/danzig.htm

Anal

The anus is that nice little area of your posterior that is part of the digestive system, actually the last stage the digestion process. But in regards to sex it can be a mecca of delight. However, our society, while already prurient about vaginal sex, treats anal sex as though it is worse than the plague. Perhaps it has to do with the homophobia that our culture is based on, though it probably has more to do with the fact that it is pure sex. A study of sex has been treated has shown that any form of sexual expression that does not involve procreation is bad. Anal sex definitely won't end in a baby, which the good Catholics who seem to control our country hate. (Though there is a nice little twist in that many teens who are quite religious end up having anal intercourse because their vaginal virginity is still intact, ha).

My point is, anal sex is misjudged and it is nothing to agonize about. You don't even have to go full penetration with the anus if that bothers you, a nice little touch or poke can be just as nice.

I asked a couple friends how they felt about anal and what they had to say about it.

One stated: " I like to beg for it"
and Lugs Chicago talked about how it sounds like a lot of fun and you get excited for it, but in then end it is not as great as the idea of it. Interesting thought.

An entire book could be written about anal sex (and they are out there), I'm not talking just about anal sex techniques, but also about the social aspects of it. I just have to mention religious girls and anal sex again or saddlebacking, because it is an anal sex phenomenon that just makes me laugh. This anal sex term refers to the practice of a girl (a religious and horny one) who wants to keep her virginity but needs to get her jollies on. So she has anal sex instead of vaginal sex. Problem is, a lot of these girls think since it is not vaginal sex a condom is not needed and of course they know nothing of HIV/AIDS because they are conservative and religious. WRONG.

Any hoo, non religious anal sex is good, fun and kinky. There are endless possibilities in regards to playing around with the anus. Fingers, penises, butt plugs all sorts of things can be put up there and pleasure most likely will occur.

Here are some nice ideas to do with the anus.

Anal massage doesn't even involve penetration. According to The Guide to Getting It On, there a lot of nerve endings around the anus opening. Light pressure and rubbing can be quite relaxing. Rimming also can involve not penetration. Rimming is kissing the ass. Kissing the anus and slipping a little tongue in there is fun, try it.
Penetration with a penis. The Guide to Getting It On as some good ideas about leading up to cock in anus. The writers of the book recommend that you start off with a little bit of finger play in the anus. It is good to try to get the muscles inside the anus called sphincters to learn to relax. There are two sets of these muscles, and until both of them can relax, anal sex may be a little uncomfortable. Oh, yeah lube is nice when sticking a penis into an anus.

Note to guys, most guys don't get off strictly by anal sex. Some penis play outside the anus is usually necessary for a guy to get off.

Of course, don't go and continue doing something your anus if it starts to hurt, that is never a good thing. Sex is about being comfortable, it isn't about putting up with something that hurts you or makes you uncomfortable.

Another note to the gents some ladies or men are prudes or just don't want anal sex. You might want to make sure that it is ok to go up there, a finger might not be noticed, but a cock will be. Just ask, it has never hurt anyone to ask questions and questions about anal sex are nice.

Spring Cleaning

Life kind of caught up me in a whirlwind of illness, education, and life. But I am back and I plan on staying. I am also thinking about cleaning this blog up a little. I know it is pretty young, but even fresh things get a little dusty. Lugs Chicago suggested I start to approach from a new angle; I think I am going to test it out. So rather than just talking about sex, I'm going to start addressing problems people have in regards to sex and may want more information on. Of course, posts about vibrators, sex laws and sex history will still pop up, but I really need some direction on where I want this blog to go.

It is always talked about how men have an unflagging libido, though we only need to see all the products out there to help them (cock rings, cock pumps...uh viagra), but women when it comes to low libido are not given much coverage. It is expected that women have a smaller sex drive than men, but that is not necessarily the case. If you google "men and women sex drives," all the hits are about how different they are how men just have this high libido and women can't keep up.

Men have so many ways of addressing their libido when it slows down, but what about women? Plenty of women have libidos that are strong and still healthy? What happens when a woman has a lack of sex drive?

Sadly, there is indeed a huge difference in women's libido than men, but that does not mean that women want sex less than men do. In 2006 BBC.news ran an interesting article about women's libido. Apparently some German researchers studied what happens to women's libido when they are relationship, and let us just say it goes down. Sex is wanted less, it is less important.

"They found 60% of 30-year-old women wanted sex "often" at the beginning of a relationship, but within four years of the relationship this figure fell to under 50%, and after 20 years it dropped to about 20%."

Woo boy that is some numbers. But there a ways to help a woman get her libido going, and they are simple and don't involve fancy medications or sex therapists. They involve a little fun.

1) Be open to talk to your partner
2) Change things up a little: Don't just have sex in bed, try the shower, the kitchen floor, the sofa
3) Explore new areas of pleasure: The clit is not the only place to be sensitive, explore the woman's body and new areas of pleasure will most likely be found.
4) Save money on a sex therapist, go to a nice sex store in your area and look at the different books and videos they have sex. Maybe there is some sexy thing you have no idea you like, but the store's stock gives you some ideas.
5) It is ok to use vibrators while having sex with a partner, they are fun for both
6) Role playing can spice things up
7) positions are always around (not they are at the bottom of my list, so there are positions out there....they aren't going to want a woman to get her libido going 100%)

And finally EXPLORE. There is no harm in exploring safely and with a partner you trust. You can't go trying to get your libido going unless you are comfortable. S/M does not mean you are uncomfortable just because there are paddles involved, you need to be comfortable before you experiment and explore your sexual interests.

I'd like to give some accolades to the online comic Questionable Content by J. Jacques. The most recent comics have been addressing libido and purchasing a vibrator for the first time. Great humor. Comics numbers 1377-1380 are the story so far.

As Beyonce Says "All the single ladies/put your hands up"

This post is probably coming out one of the many fever dreams I have had in the past four days. I technically should be passed out, but due to all the tea I have been drinking to feel better through this horrible illness, I am wide awake (I don't believe in decaff tea), and thus this post begins.

It seems like society is always urging people to commit. Commit to this one job for the rest of your life after college, commit to this diet, commit to this way of writing, commit, commit, commit, commit. Especially in relationships, I hardly know anyone who actually casually dates, my friends go from one relationship and in to another one (or as I sometimes see it: from the frying pan to the fire). Whatever happened to casual? Casual dinner, casual sex, casual breakfast the next day...I am going to blame it on romantic comedies or romcoms.

There are all these damn movies that are about successful single women who have awesome friends, good jobs, interesting social lives, but they are SINGLE. Throughout the entire movie said single girl is seen moping about not having a relationship, having sex, moping about sex not being a relationship, yearning for the "perfect" man, thinking how life sucks because they don't have a commitment with another person, etc. I could make a huge list of all the romcoms that come to mind that deal with a successful single woman who only thinks about not being single, but I'm not, it would be boring, all I have to mention is the Sex and the City cult and I make my point.

All these movies hinting that a single girl should think about getting a relationship filter into everyday life, and suddenly society and culture are telling single women that they should feel like their lives suck and that they should probably put on some special hormone filled perfume and go hunting for a "man."

When is there going to be a movie about a single girl who doesn't think about how much it sucks to be single? Hell, include men in this vent too. Movies seem to show single men just as desperate for a relationship as women.

What does society have against people who are single? I don't know the answer, but I hope someone does.

(Here is a pretty cool comic about how being single rocks)

Asses vs. Breasts

I'm going to first apologize for not posting for awhile, life got hectic and I had other priorities. But, now I am back!

I recently hung out in the park on a beautiful 70 degree day with some friends. Since it was the first warm day in a long, long time, there were lots of lovely ladies who had shed their winter gear. I am the first to get into a debate about the objectification of women, but I it is hard to resist looking at fine ladies in a park on a warm day, so this day my friends and I started to objectify, but all in good fun. This led to a debate about which is better, breasts or asses?

My guy friends were for the ass and less about the titties. I like to look at asses, but I love the way a woman will carry her breasts and the curve of them. It got to be an interesting discussion about asses and breasts.

I argued that breasts were nice because of their erotic qualities: the soft nipple getting hard under a tongue, the soft curve of the skin, the titallation a sexy piece of lace that carries with it the possibility of being removed. They found this to be all too much "work" and the lingerie to be a nice addition to the moment, but not necessary since it gets removed anyway. Which is a silly characterisitc of lingerie, it can look good, be visually appealing and tantalizing, but in the end a woman will spend $80 on a lingerie set and will wear it for about five minutes or less, and even spend more on the outfit than $80 dollars.

Thier arguments for asses were, good. Nice, firm part of the body to grab onto during sex, especially with the woman on top or during that horribly named position "doggy style" (i need to come with a new name for that position, because "doggy style" irritates me). They are nice to spank, hold on to, etc.

Plus, seeiing a girl in a fine pair of jeans walk by is just delicious. Woman's asses are way better than mens. I rarely look at a guy's ass when I am checking him out, but it is guaranteed that when I look at a woman I will look at her ass somepoint.

Yet, for some, an ass just does it and a good ass is all there needs to be. They don't have to have great breasts or a good face, but if they have a fine ass, well some are done for. Maybe I am just to picky, though that is not quite the right word. Perhaps it has to do with men and women and how they approach things. Because, in the end for me, a person can be bangin' hot, but if their personality blows then I am completly turned off.

Who knows why some people prefer one aspect of someone and one does not. That is the magic of sexuality and the erotic.