Life kind of caught up me in a whirlwind of illness, education, and life. But I am back and I plan on staying. I am also thinking about cleaning this blog up a little. I know it is pretty young, but even fresh things get a little dusty. Lugs Chicago suggested I start to approach from a new angle; I think I am going to test it out. So rather than just talking about sex, I'm going to start addressing problems people have in regards to sex and may want more information on. Of course, posts about vibrators, sex laws and sex history will still pop up, but I really need some direction on where I want this blog to go.
It is always talked about how men have an unflagging libido, though we only need to see all the products out there to help them (cock rings, cock pumps...uh viagra), but women when it comes to low libido are not given much coverage. It is expected that women have a smaller sex drive than men, but that is not necessarily the case. If you google "men and women sex drives," all the hits are about how different they are how men just have this high libido and women can't keep up.
Men have so many ways of addressing their libido when it slows down, but what about women? Plenty of women have libidos that are strong and still healthy? What happens when a woman has a lack of sex drive?
Sadly, there is indeed a huge difference in women's libido than men, but that does not mean that women want sex less than men do. In 2006 BBC.news ran an interesting article about women's libido. Apparently some German researchers studied what happens to women's libido when they are relationship, and let us just say it goes down. Sex is wanted less, it is less important.
"They found 60% of 30-year-old women wanted sex "often" at the beginning of a relationship, but within four years of the relationship this figure fell to under 50%, and after 20 years it dropped to about 20%."
Woo boy that is some numbers. But there a ways to help a woman get her libido going, and they are simple and don't involve fancy medications or sex therapists. They involve a little fun.
1) Be open to talk to your partner
2) Change things up a little: Don't just have sex in bed, try the shower, the kitchen floor, the sofa
3) Explore new areas of pleasure: The clit is not the only place to be sensitive, explore the woman's body and new areas of pleasure will most likely be found.
4) Save money on a sex therapist, go to a nice sex store in your area and look at the different books and videos they have sex. Maybe there is some sexy thing you have no idea you like, but the store's stock gives you some ideas.
5) It is ok to use vibrators while having sex with a partner, they are fun for both
6) Role playing can spice things up
7) positions are always around (not they are at the bottom of my list, so there are positions out there....they aren't going to want a woman to get her libido going 100%)
And finally EXPLORE. There is no harm in exploring safely and with a partner you trust. You can't go trying to get your libido going unless you are comfortable. S/M does not mean you are uncomfortable just because there are paddles involved, you need to be comfortable before you experiment and explore your sexual interests.
I'd like to give some accolades to the online comic Questionable Content by J. Jacques. The most recent comics have been addressing libido and purchasing a vibrator for the first time. Great humor. Comics numbers 1377-1380 are the story so far.
of course, the main reason for this labido lacking is still not addressed. Can you say. new partner? Like getting new clothes, often makes one feel better, so also with a new partner. Or maybe just a small rotation?
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