I thought I might do a pillow talk post right from my bed and my pillows. Sadly, its not the right kind of pillow talk (no steamy, casual sex with a stranger for me last night), however there is a pillow involved.
I'm thinking about satisfaction and pleasure outside of the physical kind. I'm not a selfish person all of the time nor am I a bitch all of the time, but sometimes I am. Like this weekend, the bitch and maybe the selfish person emerged and it was mainly how I got my pleasure. I usually avoid going out, parties irritate me, but tonight since there was one celebrating Abe Lincoln's birthday I had to.
The bitch emerged at the first party: Columbia freshmen. Forties, beer bong, casual makeouts in corners, bad clothing and cameras everywhere. I couldn't help but be very amused about it all, but hell I once was a freshmen I shouldn't make fun or derive pleasure from their awkwardness and their attempts at being "hip." Too bad, I did and I loved it.
The second time I derived pleasure that night was because of one small thing.
It was nothing sexual or physical in nature. But the thrill of pleasure and satisfaction I felt made me warm, just like I was getting ready for sex. The ability to feel this way without physical acts happening, is one way that I have learned to appreciate living more. You can get a thrill of pleasure from the sound a jar lid makes when you first open it, or maybe even at the expense of someone else's secrets or awkward situation. But it needs to be a personal pleasure that isn't confessed. If you confess to being satisfied at the expense of someone you are a B.I.T.C.H and if you admit to likeing the sound a jar lid makes, well....then you might be seen as weird.
The point is, pleasure and satisfaction can happen without sex and that is pretty damn awesome.
(and if this post doesn't make sense, I apologize. I am bit hung over and dehydrated).
hmm.. pillow talk at 9:17am?
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