I recently came across an interesting article about a professor at the Art Institute of Chicago who is fascinated by lies. This led me to thinking about lying in general. When it comes to sex, lies happen all to often. Women lie about having orgasms and being sexually stimulated, men lie about why they had sex with someone and some lie about what they are interested in doing in bed. Hell, most likely at some point in everyone's sex lives they have lied. Why is this? Why do people feel the need to lie to the people they have sex with?
Looking back at the history of how sex has been treated in society it is easy to see why lying still happens. In the 18th century women barely had a voice in their sex lives, it wasn't something you did. If sex came out in public, people lied about actually having it. Time moved forward and sex got to be a little better, but still lying happened because society still treated sex as a taboo subject.
Today, we like to think that we are all so modern in how we treat sex, but it is still a subject that many of us are raised to feel awkward about. It is treated as taboo even as sex stores are in put in busy neighborhoods and KY ads show couples clothed and kissing. It is always around and yet people still feel shame or awkwardness when it comes to what they want in bed.
There needs to be change still. Advances in how sex is treated are not complete and not perfect. People should be comfortable telling their partners that they didn't orgasm or that they would like to be spanked every once in awhile without being judged. I think we all need to start feeling safe and confident with our partners about sex.
No lies, No shame and No fear.
Here is a list of some great people who are good at making you feel comfortable with sex:
Dan Savage of "Savage Love," who answers questions about sex
Annie Sprinkle, sex activist and feminist artist
Kate Bornstein, awesome books on sexuality and gender.
I love Female Orgasm, good book and sex education program
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